alephate

I launched my fashion blog Fated To Be Hated on October 11th, 2010, ten years ago today. My heart was broken by someone who made me feel replaceable. My anguish toward the experience of having been discarded as an object of fascination propelled me to distinguish myself by evolving into different characters, attracting new attentions. Through this investment in expression I not only distracted myself from the trauma of severance, but I gave myself an affirmative associated Experience to Remember every time I returned to this place in the Spiral of Time. I created evidence for myself to fall back on -- proof that when injured, I heal. This trust that I have in myself to Speak Louder when I am silenced is supported by a parallel trust I have in the world to take my message seriously, to abandon me, and to return me Wounded to this junction. You saw me then; you will hear me now.  As a seventeen year old, I consciously sought to be Recognized as someone with devoted Recognition. I wanted